Sooooo, and I were texting REALLY FUCKIN' LATE one night when we got on the subject, somehow, of the greatest threats in our state. (Mine, of course, being the alligator and her's being the bear.) THE FOLLOWING TOOK PLACE!!

~just-delilah: OMFG NEW PEPPER SPRAY WORKS!!
Brel: DID YOU SHOOT IT INTO YOUR EYES DUMBASS??!!
~just-delilah: Got pepper spray. Sprayed completely away from me and it still permeated the whole room and got me!
Brel: Haw haw! Well at least now you know. It’s actually illegal to carry it around down here anymore.
~just-delilah: Not illegal here cause all the bears. But I feel bad for you guys already. Holy God…
Brel: ….Yes. The bears. Because when you spray their faces they aren’t gonna bat at you and tear your head off. They’ll just fall over dead.
~just-delilah: Shut up Florida person! It would at least give you three more second of precious life to reminisce before you are BRUTALLY EATEN. That’s important to some people.
Brel: *LOLS down the stairs* For your information we Florida people know how to outrun our local threat. *<* The gator…
~just-delilah: You can LOL places? Fascinating. Also… only cause gators aren’t BEARS, which are way more badass!
Brel: (Yes you can… in Brel World) Maybe. But bears don’t make good purses!
~just-delilah: I don’t know what you’re talking about. Bears make awesome purses. Not only will it eat the bills you put in it but it roars at people who try to steal it. Like I said woman; Bad. Ass.
Brel: …………….Well we have hurricanes and Spanish people and cocaine! SO NAH!
~just-delilah: We have… Eff. You won with cocaine.
Brel: … *LOLS back up the stairs*
~just-delilah: Yeah that’s right. You stay up there… with your cocaine.

*THEN! LATER*

~just-delilah: HURRAY! Mucho good luck! Keep me up to date with the man stuff so I can tease joo!
Brel: Right back at cha! *flies out your window with a Magikarp strapped to each foot* I-I don’t know…
~just-delilah: OMFG. I burst out laughing. That’s like… the best image… in the history of images. Like, even better than thoughts of Matt Damon nekked


And that's how it went down!







I'm not even kidding.